Friday, January 20, 2017

Wait and see

Today is 1 or 2 DPO. I don't know which because my OPK was positive 2 days ago, and I had ovulation pain the same day, late at night tho. Our BD schedules wasn't perfect either. we BDed 3 days prior and on the Ovulation day or the day after. I am not sure which, I don't do temping this time. So we may have missed the egg. well well, its how it is. I can only wait and see.
A lot is going on now in the world, I don't know how to feel. I look at the news and think about adding a little person to this crazy world. On the other hand, She/he may change the world, right? or she/he might not. but if she/he does, that's something. right?

I dont wanna obsess myself with symptoms and overthinking about 2 weeks wait this time. I don't have time for that either, with a 2.5 years old running around being potty trained :D So I will just wait until 9 or 10DPO and test.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Getting close

CD10 (cycle day 10). We are getting close, but I am sick like hell. I have a Sinus infection and I am still on antibiotics. The infection made my teeth hurt badly because apparently upper teeth roots are going to the sinus area , so I went to the dentist and found out that I need some reparation on my teeth as well. which is good that it's happening right now, you know, before getting pregnant; and bad at the same time , because, you know, who can do the baby dance with being sick and a newly filled tooth?
So nothing goes as planned right now.
I still have the plan to use the OPKs from tonight or tomorrow though. 2 times a day, just to be sure.

I bought a winter dress for 0-2 months couple of days ago. Hubby asked how do you know the baby will be born in winter? I said: he/she should be. Otherwise it means we should keep trying at least 5 months from now. God forbid ;) . I even have hopes to take advantage of the January sale for some winter baby clothes  :D we'll see.

Friday, January 6, 2017

TTC after MC

I am glad that I've waited at least one cycle after miscarriage for trying again.
If you google, you find lots of stories of people got pregnant again 1 or 2 weeks after the miscarriage, and they end up having a healthy pregnancy. you also will find stories about people haven't ovulated at all that cycle, or did have another miscarriage. I have no statistic, but all doctors are keep saying if you are sure everything is out naturally, there is no scientific evidence shows that you have to wait. and I accept that. BUT, this cycle is showing me that not everything is got back to normal in my body. not yet. so why take the risk?
One thing that is common in all TTC after MC stories, is that they all agree that their temperatures were all over the place ( they who do temp) and they can not trust the ovulation kit that much, cuz it can happen that it shows + one day and - the next day and again + another day, which we can all agree, no one can can interpret that.  my AF was definitely different than my norm this time and this is another common issue you hear over and there.
So all in all I am glad I made that decision and I hope everything is got back to normal now.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

The chemical pregnancy

I had what they called chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage last month.
From the day one I knew something was wrong. specially when i compared that to my previous pregnancy. First of all I got my BFP on 9DPO last time. This time I got negative on 10 and 11 DPO and then a faint positive on 13 dpo. It meant my hormones were not high. I knew that because I knew when was it that I ovulated. So it should had been higher. And secondly, I had no pregnancy symptoms. which is fine on its own. but when you put these two together, its not a good sign. Then days passed and the line got a bit darker but never dark enough till 5 weeks and 2 days when I started bleeding. The next day, my HCG was 7! 7, is almost nothing. 7 is not pregnant. 7 means all is already gone. It hurt. Physically and emotionally hurt. But the silver-lining was, I believed something was wrong from the beginning. I believed that its not the way it supposed to happen.
One of the hardest things to deal with in the process of loss of that baby, was my closest cousin announced that she is pregnant. and guess what? the exact due date as mine ( or as if I was still pregnant) . I am super happy for her, cause I love her like a sister, but it will remind me every time, that we were supposed to be baby buddies. there was supposed to be a baby at the exact age. I haven't told her . I probably never will. and I hope I can cope with that better in time.

The doctor told me that I can try right away. he said there is no evidence, what so ever, that getting pregnant immediately after CP specially when everything went out naturally, will cause another miscarriage or increase the risk of it. In fact, people are very fertile after that. So it was a hard decision for me, to wait or not to wait. I decided to wait at least one cycle. I wanted to be sure. to be ready. not jump into something that causes me stress. If that calms me a bit , so be it .
Today the MC cycle finally ended and the next one began. I never thought I would be that happy to see the AF coming.
I need lots of luck this month.

Want a refresh on abbreviations ?
BFP : big fat positive ( on pregnancy tests)
DPO : day past ovulation
AF : Aunt flu. mens.
CP : chemical pregnancy
MC: miscarriage
HCG : pregnancy hormone

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Fast forwarding to 3 years later :)

It's 3 years later :
Long story short: My little peanut is 2.5 years old now. She is wonderful, sweet and amazing and I am blessed to have her in my life.

The whole pregnancy was kinda easy. I found out the gender on 14 weeks, although they kept saying its not 100 percent sure. but it was. it was (and is ) the sweetest little girl ever.
The birth wasn't easy though. I had fake contractions from week 33. I was even  in the hospital for 3 nights threatened early labor. She was breech so I was lucky, otherwise with 3 min apart contractions lasted for 3 days, she would have come out way sooner.
She still came 10 days early , which I have gratitude for.
I started bleeding around 10 pm or maybe it was the mucus plug. went to the hospital and they said you wont go anywhere. I had contractions, around 10 min apart. but no pain. at 6am my water broke. still no serious pain, contractions 5-6 mins apart. 3 cm dilated. at 12pm, they said its been 6 hours since my water broke and I am still 3 cm dilated and for the fact that they meastured her big in sonos( she wasnt, 3kilos and 290 grams)  no-one wanted to wait. so emergency ( not that in a hurry tho) c-section. 1:10 she was born.
I was of course awake and heard everything. the most amazing experience ever. I felt a hand went inside me and pulled her out. I actually felt it. they kept saying she has a big head, and maybe that was the reason she wouldn't go more down so I could dilate, and the reason that she measured big.
No word can describe the feeling of seeing her for the first time. they put her skin to my skin around 20 min later. in the meantime she was cleaned and rapped and given to the father. He was also speechless thinking oh my god where did you come from.
The whole experience is beyond words, the most amazing/not so easy thing that ever happened to me.

Now here we are, TTCing for the second one.
Good luck to me.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Week 10, first important Ultrasound

I'm so emotional today, that I want to cry all the time. I don't know exactly why, but I have some ideas. first of all, hormones. right? but other than that, today is my second U/S and I am scared and excited. I don't know what is going on my mind right now, but I feel like I can not eat, drink or think. all I can do is refreshing Facebook and twitter and kill the time. the worst part is I am at work and have to work. I called in sick the past 2 days first, because I felt like catching cold , and second, I couldn't concentrate and that wouldn't be fair that I just come to the work and refresh Facebook like crazy.
Besides, I am emotional about everything that is going to happen. should I stay here in this city alone until birth and then take the baby, go to my parents? or just go to my parents before birth and ditch work? I feel like I am absolutely alone in this city. I have couple of friends which I don't think they care that much and thats it. I need family. I need my parents. although I do not have so much friends in their city too. I wish we could all go back to my birth city and live there happily ever after, but that aint gonna happen. we moved on from that city. no return.
I'm dying here. literally dying. I want to see my baby healthy and big and cute. I can not wait this couple of hours to the appointment. I wish I could sleep and wake up 6 hours later. Im getting crazy :(

Its 2 days after those lines now. my little peanut was cute and healthy and adorable. the heartbeat was loud and clear. amazing. her/his little tows and fingers was visible and she/he moved a bit .
I am blessed and thankful and happy. cant wait to pass the first trimester with no complication and know the gender. I love my little peanut.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Week 8, Maternity clothes

I bought my first maternity pants yesterday! I am so excited, and god they are sooo comfy.
I know it's too early but I have problem with my regular pants, nothing fits anymore. My pants are usually very tight, so they didn't have any extra space even for a bit of getting fat, but this is beyond "a bit" , I heard that some people show early and my belly was always the first thing in my body which showed I'm getting fat, but still it's a bit weird to me.
I don't care, I have my maternity comfy jeans, they make me happy :)

I can't wait for my next U/S. The little peanut is getting legs and arms now and they are super cute as I saw in other U/S pics. I have to wait 2 weeks though.