Better safe than sorry

I know everybody says if you are too picky and overprotective you will hurt yourself more, but I can not help being picky with what I eat. I google every single new ingredient that I eat. And ask people in the restaurant : is your mayo home made? where is your yoghurt come from?
I'm driving people crazy I guess, and sometimes myself.
So this morning I wanted to make a tea at work, I went through all tea bags, earl-gray : too much caffein, chamomile-honey : I heard chamomile is not that good, cinnamon-ginger : heard cinnamon is not good at all, green tea-maple: I have no idea about maple, should I look it up?
So I ended up deciding normal black tea is the safest, I only should be careful about how much caffein I'll have the rest of the day.
I know at this point you are thinking to yourself: OMG, people are crazy. they cant have a life.
The truth is I know that I am being overprotective, I know that I'm acting like a picky obsessed person, but I can not imagine doing anything, ANYTHING harmful to the baby just because I think it should be fine. So at the end I think I'm doing the right thing, and it's always better to be safe than sorry.

Week 7, first U/S

I saw my little peanuts heartbeat and it was AMAZING. There was a teeny tiny heart inside me, beating. I can not describe my feeling. And I can not describe also how much I'm worried now that I know thats this tiny and vulnerable. its kinda scary.
The doctor said it seems like you are a worrier. I think he is right. It seems like I am.

Week 7 - symptoms

It hit me. All possible symptoms hit me right after 6 weeks! Nausea, dizziness, hot flashes, feeling faint and much more. The worst part is nausea, hot flashes and feeling faint, cause in that case I need to lay down, and its almost impossible at work. I really have no idea how people go to work in their first trimester, but it's not easy.
It reminds me of an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Lily said "this baby better to be very cute cause I feel terrible now" . Babies are always cute, so I guess that's always the deal. ;)

The world is full of surprises

I read some pregnancy stories and I'm in shock. I always thought it can be possible that somebody does something harmful during the pregnancy because she has no clue that this can not be safe. But I never ever thought people do know something is really harmful to the baby and they still do that.
I read tons of stories about people who enjoy smoking and can't quit during pregnancy. I honestly don't get it. How is it possible that you know it's dangerous for the baby and you still do it? I don't understand and I don't want to.
Frankly reading some pregnancy stories is like watching movies for me, I have a feeling that they are not real cause some of them are far too unrealistic. I guess I am just lucky to live in a part of the world that I had no experience as such around me. Thats why some of them seem really fictional to me.
I think I am really thankful for the awareness around me.

Week 6

Week 6 is finished. I'm getting used to the cramps, or actually I'm learning how they work. Now I know which one caused by IBS and which types can be normal. But I still have the feeling that I'm carrying a glass bubble.
I have all kinds of digestion problem as well, in addition to nausea. It's not really a piece of cake but I'm enjoying it. I haven't turned on my super excitement button though, not yet. It's still early and I want to be sure everything is ok. I hope it will be, but I'm suppressing my feeling for another week or two.

I haven't told anybody yet, except for my parents, my bro and one of my friends who is also pg, 5 month. Oh, and the big boss. He was not on the list, he just caught me by asking some serious questions about my future in the company, so I told him. But not the ones under him. I have a lots of bosses ;)

I want to have an u/s at the end of this week. It may be still early for heartbeat but I cant wait. so many girls heard their peanut's heartbeat between week 6 and 7. So I'm really wishing for some excitement at the end of this week.

Week 5

After a week stressing about my blood work, today I got the results and everything looks good. I read that there was no need for blood test or even ultrasound that early in the pregnancy, I have no idea why my GP and OBGYN didn't think that much. They even didn't pay attention to what I was saying. Hopeless.
But I'm not going to stress myself out over my GP, and frankly I'm glad I know the results now, cuz now I can relax.
I still cant believe I'm having a baby. I have all kind of symptoms though, and that's good. I'm very tired, have very mild cramps, tender breasts, nausea, super frequent urination and much more.
Actually I like having mild symptoms, I reminds me every minute that there is a little peanut growing inside me. I really pray and wish that everything goes fine. finger crossed.

Week 4

I don't like my GP. He just took all of the joy from us and replaced it with fear and stress.
I had my appointment yesterday, which was exactly 4 weeks. He said he sees nothing is ultrasound ( of course, what did you expect?) and I have to check my hCG for seeing the rise.
That's good that we have to check the hCG, but he was also suspected ectopic which is very soon to be suspicious about. I mean, come on! There are lots of people who can not even have the positive HPT on cd29. Even I know it's normal to see no sac in u/s or not having a super strong positive urine test on 4weeks and 0 days.
I'm literally dying here waiting for the first hCG result, and of course the second one which will be in 2-3 days would be even worse to wait for.

I dreamt of bleeding heavy last night. what if it's really an ectopic? what if it's a m/c . Was it really necessary to scare the hell out of me? I think he is stupid, even though he might be right and anything can happen, he is just stupid.

Week 4

Man, being pregnant is hard! ;)
I'm only 4 weeks and already experienced that its not a piece of cake! last night I was awake from 4 am to 6 am, so the night before. Why is it so hard to sleep already? Besides I always had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) which kind of was gone away but came back since 2 days ago so I had pain all day yesterday, I googled and I found out pregnancy aggravates IBS, and you can not take any pills for that. I only can wish myself luck :D

I'm sitting and thinking about how and when should I tell people. Sometimes in my train of thoughts the fact that it's really happening is like a slap to my face! literally, I get shock-like shake. Then I wake up, smile big and continue thinking. should I wait till 6 weeks? 8? 12? who should be first, who last?
I wish I could post a picture of my BFP on Instagram or Facebook and finish! but I don't want to tell people that soon now.
Seems like some people know how and when they are going to tell people, even before they are pg. Honestly I don't know what do I want to do.

YEAP ! I'm pregnant. The peanut is there! I still cant believe it.
I tested again last night with another brand, and this morning with clearblue digital.
I have a mix feeling of panic, happiness, shocked and again happiness! it's weeeeird!

Of course yesterday I remembered my drinking of shame on Saturday, and the smoked salmon, and the fact that I forgot my folic acid one day during last week. I googled drinking a bit in early pregnancy and turned out it's not a real big deal and I can relax. There are tons of women who don't know they are pregnant and drink.

I have a rule of thumb, whatever is natural it cant be bad! and by natural I mean anything that can happen either when people don't know they are pg, or is a part of daily routine. For example lifting heavy stuff is forbidden, but what about the women who have another baby 1 or 2 years old, and they are pg again? they have to lift their kids anyway. I never heard that it can be a huge problem.
Another rule of thumb related to this one, don't surprise your body! perhaps lifting somebody else's kid is not a good idea, cuz your body is not used to do so.

I'm actually reviewing these to myself. I need to remember so many things, and read a lot. who can concentrate at work with all these thoughts now?

I may faint now ! I think I'm pregnant!

Yesterday was 9DPO, I knew it was early, but since my luteal phase is 12-13 days, so I thought it would be AF- 4 and maybe I can test. I had 10 internet cheap one-time strips, so I thought I can start with them and when anything, I can confirm with clearblue. Anyway, the result was negative, but I saw a very very very faint line, like a shadow. I really didn't know if it was even there before testing or it just appeared.
I decided to wait until Friday and test again.
This morning Fertility Friend said that my chart turned triphasic. It means I had at least 3 days higher temperature, higher than the rest of the chart. which usually means pregnancy. Since I don't trust my thermometer that much, I didn't take it seriously. ( but I was hopeful at least )
I was still in bed that I remembered I have dentist appointment today. I'm not sure if the dentist should know If anybody is pregnant or it doesn't matter, but suddenly I decided to test, so I could tell the dentist to be careful. I tested with a clearblue, not digital one, the one that can be minus or plus, and after a while I saw a big plus smiling at me!
I jumped out of the bathroom and asked Cy if he thinks it's a positive. He was shocked and repeatedly asked wasn't it too soon to test?

I really don't know what I saw. Can it be false positive? Ok, I'm really going to faint now!
I think I have to test more to confirm. isn't it really too soon? 10DPO? did I pee right? is the test reliable enough? is it really happening? OMG, I can't believe it.